Testimony time!
Can I take y’all to church please? Like realllly? Just for a minute. Wonderful!
So for those of you who do not know, I am currently sitting my final exams. I have a total of 6 between 23rd May and 8th June, and I can genuinely say no time in my academic history has been as stressful as now. Namely, what happened earlier today.
It all began last night…
It was Friday night.
I had been revising all day but still under target and so began to panic. The exam was the next day and in between re-writing notes, attempting practise questions and reading my poor writing back and forth, I honestly felt like NOTHING was sticking. Which lead to more panic. I would go over cases in my head, then find there were loop holes in my knowledge. “This is ridiculous!” I thought to myself. To make matters worse I was exhausted after weeks of as little as 5 hours sleep most nights and my entire body was one big ache. So…I did what I had been doing for the 2 weeks before and reached for the paracetomol. Nothing changed.
1 hour later and still attempting to cram and an excruciating headache came along. I sat at the kitchen table whimpering, holding my head in agony. With just hours to go till the day of the exam, how was I going to do this?
So 10pm comes and my eyes begin to fall, despite having a risky 2 hr nap that day. I could not fathom my level of stress. Over the past few weeks, I have cried, broke down, gained weight, lost weight, ached. This was not needed right now. So…I popped some Pro Plus. This is where things began to go downhill…
11pm and I am working away but I realise I had only eaten one meal all day. My appetite has been inconsistent for the past few days and I’d lost a bit of weight but I figured it may strengthen me. Fail. Not long after eating, I shot up from revising and began to be sick. So I’m leaning over a bathroom sink asking what has become of my life. Ah ah! Will exams kill me? Eventually, after doing all I could do, I called it a night at 4am and went to bed.
The next morning, I arose at 9am TIRED. My exam wasn’t until 2:30pm and so I had purposed to revise for a few hours before. However, by 11am I was falling asleep. Then I had to make another risky decision, keep going or take the Pro Plus. Can you guess what happened next?
After swallowing the tablets, I got back to work but once again, nothing was going in. To make matters worse I began shaking. First in my hands then all over. Though it was boiling outside, I was freezing cold and began to shiver. Soon my body became weak and by 12pm I was limping around the house attempting to revise. Then came the emotional disturbances. Tears began to fall from my eyes from no where! I had 2 hours to go and I had never felt so mentally unstable for an exam in my life.
The final straw came around 1:15pm. Whilst reading over my notes desperately, a bold light appeared in the centre of my vision. Basically like when you stare at a bulb for too long. Except I had not done so. There was just this light, over my paper, in the room, everywhere I looked. Now I know I sound crazy, but bare with me lol.
Finally my friend told me to stop, sat me down and gave me an emergency pep talk. Throughout it I remember closing my eyes, attempting to hold back the tears. I felt broken, but it was now 1:40pm and I had to leave.
Walking to my University, the sun was shining, but it only made things worse. I soon became dizzy and questioned whether I could even make it. Donning sunglasses (merely for protection) I said a prayer and set out. I was carrying my notes and was still trying to drill them in, but by this point reading was only making things worse.
As I walked through the park I began to pray. I prayed that somehow I would remember my notes. I prayed for grace and I prayed for two specific topics to come up. I felt like I could keel over any minute, but everything was literally in God’s hands.
When I got to the exam, a friend of mine saw me with my shades on, looking withdrawn. His exact words read, “you look mad”. If only he knew…He asked if I had prepared and I began to tell him how I did yet I couldn’t remember anything! I told him how I had done multiple practise questions but genuinely felt like everything had gone. He just laughed and said “you’ll be fine”. And so together, we walked in.
2:30pm and the exam was about to begin. Normally, I have a peak at the paper just to give me an idea, but I was so exhausted, I just sat there, shaking.
The whole hall lifted their papers and I finally got a glimpse of the questions. My eyes immediately connected with question number 2. The wording was familiar and it seemed to be on one of the topics I had prayed for. Things were beginning to look up. After a few reads I soon realised that it was one of the EXACT same practise questions that I had attempted the night before, prior to my breakdown. I felt all kinds of things. I wanted to cry, laugh, rejoice. But instead, for fear of getting ahead of myself, I began to choose my second question. Skimming through, I see my second topic that I had specifically prayed for in the park. Not only that, but it was ALSO the EXACT practise question I had done in the midst of the madness. The only practise questions I had done in depth, and the exact points which I had hoped I would remember. Needless to say, I began writing straight away. It was sorta fun, regurgitating a “previously done exam”.
4.30pm. I come out with the fattest smile on my face. The same friend from earlier asked me how I found it and I explained what God had done. To hold back the tears was torture.
He had really, I mean REALLY come through for me. I left the exam, without a limp, but a spring in my step.
To think that I had only prayed for the topic and He revealed the EXACT same question.
Moral of the story: put your trust in God even when all else looks bleak and He will surely do more than we could ever ask or think.
Oh and don’t do drugs kids! (Especially Pro Plus).
Till next time, 2 down. 4 to go!
xxx
